Dear Readers,
Wow, I am just really surprised that I got 62 hits on my blogsite just from my short brief post of “How to get lucky in love”
There are alot of us out there looking and hoping to get lucky in love. And if you did read the article, there was a brief mention of writing a love list.
When I googled “how to write a love list” , there wasn’t much material on the topic. So here I go, contributing to the magic ‘How To’s’ DIY Love articles .
Check out these two articles on Oprah.com
The Love List (really lovely story)
The Truth about Magic Lists
My previous Love List
So, thinking back, I do have my own personal experience with writing a love list. It was back in … 2002, when Rita, Heather, Andrea and I – sat down and listed 99 qualities of our ideal man.
Most were really silly like:
11. is tall (er) <–(note: for Rita and I, this isn’t a demanding requirement at all)
12. know some magic tricks
47. know how to play guitar, or be able to serenade
or..
68. have eyes that pierce into the deepest depths of our soul (Heather made that one)
And at the bottom of the list, we wrote
For candidates who have a score below 95 – Don’t bother us.
For candidates who have a score of 95 – 99 – Date-able.
For candidates who have a 99 score – Marriage proposal expected.
hahah or something to that extent. And we printed the list in colour, and taped it on our dorm-room doors. I bet it scared all the men away.
hahaha…good times…good times…
I think it was 3 years back when I realised, you know what? screw lists! I have to be more open minded about who I date, not if he isn’t this…isn’t that. Who cares? Love should be unconditional and non-judgemental.
Correct, non?
My thinking is, if there is a list or..criteria…then..there is bound to be some men who are splendid and wonderful (LADIES – think positive, THEY MUST EXIST!!!) that fall outside my criteria range. <–because I might not know what I really want. And in that case, they will be ignored?
So since then, I don’t really have a distinctive ‘type’ of man in mind. All I request is for him to be caring, loveable, and geeky.
Anyways, back to writing the love list. The point I was getting at, is up to this moment, Mr.Ideal from 2002, has never surfaced. The reason for this was because back then, the list was quite shallow…
Getting in the right mind-set…realising what we really want in that special someone.
According to that Oprah article, our inner-self has 3 overlapping circles. (like this diagram)
1. The Shallows 
2. The Ring of Fire
3. The Core of Peace
(STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES. )
If you ask me, that article is damn bloody confusing. I found a much better article to explain it, click here
Stacy’s interpretation of unclear new age lingo:
The Shallows – we want more money, we want to drive a better looking car, date rich people, date slim girls (ARGH I CANT BELIEVE PEOPLE POST THAT AS A REQUIREMENT IN THE PERSONAL ADS!!!!) Getting the drift? Everything concerned here is surface level only. We are defined by what we own, what we are in terms of our career. At this level, we chase material items to increase our happiness.
The Ring of Fire – An emotional process we have to go through. Literally, some form of hell, some sort of loss that will shake us up and make us realise our core of peace.
The Core of Peace – So after walking through and surviving the Ring of Fire, we can realise our core essence. If you shed away all the material possessions you hold that you feel define who you are. Your values. Your character. Your dreams. Your pure self.
Finally getting down to it…drafting that Love List
So ideally, for the love list to work. We have to list 100 qualities we want in our special partner in terms of REAL Genuine terms.
For example:
Love List no-no’s
1. Make enough money for us to afford 2 cars.
2. Come from a rich family background.
3. Have a slim slender body
Love List-ables
1. Have similar family values.
2. Have a good sense of humour.
3. Be a conversationalist.
Also, I also read that, when we make lists, we should omit the words, “don’t” “not” from our list.
For example, if you know you don’t want to date a cheap person, then write, I want to meet someone generous.
I guess we have to focus on what we really want in our ideal partner, qualities, traits and characteristics. Do not focus on their possessions, or anything that is temporary.
Writing the Love List
So get a piece of paper. (preferably lined). Or if you prefer, open up MS Word, and start listing out ONE HUNDRED real and true qualities you look for in your ideal match.
When you are finished, put it aside, and see whether your ideal person will walk into your life.
The idea is, you channel and clearly tell the universe what you want, and the universe will give it to you. (THANK YOU UNIVERSE!!!)
I didn’t expect this blog post to take so long to write (its now almost 2am!) I’m going to sign off and sit on my bed, with my pen & paper and write my love list. I am a bit boggled how on earth I’ll come up with 100 qualities (because honestly at the moment I only have 3 – loveable, caring and geeky)
Whatever you do. I say, hide the list. So that no one knows it except for you. Because, you can imagine the psychotic nightmare of someone finding your list, acting out all those qualities and tricking you into falling in love with him/her! (Fine, I admit, I watch too much TV…but still… you never know.)
If your love list does work, please let me know. I’d be super interested to find out, and it’s always lovely to hear a romantic story from time to time.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved.
Good luck and may love flow into our lives 🙂
Your romantic hopeful,
Stacy
My Life in Bangkok 